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Okay I am just speechless for this one..!

 

Fed-Up Taiwanese Woman Marries Self

Meet Chen Wei-yih, a 30-year-old Taiwanese office worker who has been searching for love, but to no avail. Tired of being pressured by friends and family, Chen has decided to just marry herself instead.

Woman Marries Self Fed Up Taiwanese Woman Marries Self picture

On November 6, Chen will be marrying herself at a special ceremony estimated to cost over NT$50,000 (or $5,675). Ever since opting for this unconventional act, she has received a bevy of attention in the spotlight—not to mention thousands of letters of support from women in similar predicaments.

The problem in Taiwan is that many women are marrying later and later, if at all. This has the government and older generations worried about a possible drop in births and the associated consequences. So in turn parents are constantly pestering their daughters to get married and bear children.

Chen hopes to change this annoying behavior by doing something so revolutionary and crazy that it’ll make parents in Taiwan think twice.

“My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven’t found a partner, so what can I do?” Chen asked. “It’s not that I’m anti-marriage. I just hope that I can express a different idea within a bounds of a tradition.”

And to top it all off, Chen intends on going on a honeymoon with herself to Australia immediately after the wedding. Indeed. There’s nothing quite like honeymoon sex with oneself!

Regardless, she is hopeful that others ladies will follow suit and also marry themselves. The question remains though: Will she be eligible for spousal tax benefits? If so, then I might just marry myself, though I’m just a guy!

 

News sourced from here.

My Girl..

I knew this one particular girl back in London. Way back in 1997. Let’s call her My Girl. My Girl was 19 when I first met her. Her elder sister was a friend and her cousin was one of my housemate. She came over while I was playing pool in my hall of residence. Apparently, the only way how to get into that pool hall was through a window. The door was jammed up for repairs. So My Girl had to climb over the window ledge just to meet us guys. She was escorted by her cousin of course.

Everyone shook her hands and eagerly wanted to meet her. But I just stood there beside the pool table waiting and staring at her for a second. I didn’t even say hi. Just a nod of acknowledgement.

This of course led her to believe that I was cocky and arrogant.

My Girl was and very much is – very pretty. She is the sweetest of all things sweet. Like, eating cotton candy on a lazy Sunday afternoon in a cozy little funfair. You can enjoy her company without ever wanting it to end. Everytime she came to my apartment, nearly all guys would cram up my joint just to vie for her attention. I confess I was a tad bit jealous whenever she paid more attention to some of my friends.

I can’t think of a reason why later on she would be interested in me except maybe for the fact that I was quite funny.

Yeah I was My Girl’s little clown.

It was a brief period of romance. I wouldn’t exactly call it romance. Maybe a fling. No, a fling would be degrading. For a lack of a better word, let’s call it a romance nevertheless. Romancing My Girl was never easy. She was shy and I was quite reserved with my feelings. We just let things be. Big mistake. Never let things be. We should have taken action.

That was why the universe took control of our fates and decided that things will not be. But Easter holidays in ’98 was one of the best times I had during college days.

March turned to April, April turned to May. Before you know it, it was June already. The semester ended. So when the time came for us to say our goodbyes, it was like a sense total hopelessness. We parted ways, never to rekindle that once in a lifetime happiness. Although it was brief, it was perfect. Not too overpowering, yet not too subtle either.

It was just nice. I was the luckiest guy in the world.

She is married with two kids now. Two beautiful kids. And praise God I heard the third one is on the way..

Once, in a reckless moment of desire, I had fantasised about her running back to me and we start anew. But that would be too much to ask and knowing the gentle soul that she is, I am sure she will not be selfish.

I was and probably still is, the source of her escapism. I am the rock that when everything is not right in the world, I will be there as comfort. I am there to tell her that somebody is looking out for her.  That I will make her believe that all is not lost.

Sigh.

Maybe we shall never be with each other again in this lifetime.

Maybe we are who we are today because of that brief happy moment in our lives.

I have her deep in my heart. In that soft spot where memories of days of sunshine and laughter of those Easter days will rekindle sense of happiness whenever I think about her.

She is forever be, My Girl.

And I love her more than she think I could.

Confessions of 2010

Among my sick personality (and Miki can testify this) is, I like to create crazy situations and then sit back and watch it all go down.. among my handiwork is the part where I convinced Miki into believing that Karis is gay and had him embarrassed himself in front of another gay guy who actually had feelings for him.

Once, I told Ranie that a dude was actually half white which Ranie, after a long whirlwind clubbing night, discovered the next day, to her shock, that he was a pengkid.

Another of my greatest artwork is to allow Shira to think that she is of mamak blood, which she had always denied, and then made her mom told her that she is not a mamak, but a punjabi mixed with an indian instead. That shook her to the core.

Other notables mention is the part where I told Rina to tell her sister that she is secretly in love with me in front of their parents. Oh and if you think that your life this year is horrible, I probably had a hand in it.

These are my confessions for 2010.

Thank you.

Season’s coming to an end

2010 will come to an end really soon.

I am still the same son of a gun pistol.

But compare to 2009, this year has been great.

A career change. More upbeat lifestyle. More fun in life.

Looking forward to 2011. I hear it’s gonna be really exciting.

I am so sexcited!

Saw this in internet. Fucking gorgeous. Who is she? Can she be my Chrismas present?

1,200 times a pervert

Funny story made the cut in The Star today:

10 couples caught naked daily on Terengganu beaches

KUALA TERENGGANU: As many as 10 couples are caught daily by anti-vice volunteers along the Tok Jembal and Teluk Ketapang beaches, which are increasingly becoming favourite haunts for sexual trysts.

Many of them are said to be students from institutes of higher learning.

A volunteer, who requested anonymity, said most of the couples were caught “doing it” behind coconut trees, rocks, inside cars and even openly on the beaches.

“For non-Muslim couples, we could only advise them on the sensitivity of their action to the locals but Muslims caught will be produced before the Syariah Court,” he said.

He said anti-vice officers would go to places identified as “hot spots” to catch the culprits in the act.

“We listen for sounds of heavy breathing and kissing.

“We then move in and aim our torchlights on the couples. In most cases, they are caught naked.”

The officer said the procedure was to wait awhile before approaching the couples so as to get evidence for prosecution purposes.

“I have daughters and I feel sorry for the parents of these couples,” he said, adding that the youngsters had betrayed the trust of their folk who hoped their children would excel in their education.

The 48-year-old volunteer, who claimed to have caught 1,200 couples on the beaches since signing up as a volunteer in 2004, said he had had enough.

“I cannot take it any longer and am thinking of giving up this work. I have decided that enough is enough after six years as a volunteer,” he said.

Terengganu state executive councillor Rozi Mamat said he had received reports that “dozens of young couples” had been spotted in compromising positions at both the beaches.

“I have received numerous complaints from nearby villagers about immoral behaviour,” he said.

Rozi, newly-appointed as the state Youth and Sports committee chairman, said: “These activities could lead to moral decay among our youths if we keep mum on the matter.”

To address the situation, Rozi plans to suggest to the state government to light up both beaches and intensify patrols at “hot” areas.

Sure or not, you can’t take this any longer? 1,200 couples means 1,200 times looking at naked women. Must be painful to have an erection but can’t join in huh?

Pure bollocks from our ‘holier than thou’ folks.

And you must have a set of bionic ears to be able to hear heavy breathing and kissing above the sounds of the ocean waves. Just say it out loud that you stalk the couples the moment they come to the beaches and waited for them to have sex so that you can watch a free show.

Perverts.

Double the joy!

I am thinking…. thinking…. thinking….

Nope. I can’t find any funny things to write right now.

But this maybe because I’m gonna be an uncle to a set of twins soon!

That’s right folks!

TWINS!

Coming to you this September! I am sooo happy!

Hopefully when they grow up, they won’t be like these bunch:

The forgetable and ambiguously gay Nelson twins

The Olsen twins

How weird are your parents?

Hell yeah!

3 women got caned for having sex with their boyfriends.

In Malaysia, according to the religion of Islam, that is a HUGE sin.

That is why, most of us here are virgins before we got married.

Don’t believe me? Just ask me whether I am still a virgin or not.

(Yes, I am)

Lying by the way is not punishable by the stroke of the rattan so that is why I can get away with it easily.

Ok, enough digressing.

Anyway the caning of this WILLING women got the whole international community raise their arms in the air and shouted “FOUL!”…

Even CNN picked this news up:

3 Women Caned in Malaysia For Adultery

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (CNN) — For the first time, Malaysian authorities have caned three Muslim women under Islamic law for acts of adultery, the Malaysian national news agency Bernama said.

Home Minister Hishamuddin Hussein announced the canings Wednesday, saying the penalty was carried out February 9 at a women’s prison near Kuala Lumpur.

The canings — a punishment that persists across Malaysian society since the British colonial era of the 19th century — have been denounced by one Amnesty International official, who says “caning is tantamount to torture.”

But Hishamuddin said the punishment was carried out “to educate and make the offenders realize their mistakes and to return to the right path.”

Blah blah blah.. yada yada yada

Lance Lattig, a researcher on Malaysia for the human rights group Amnesty International, told CNN that the vast majority of canings are applied to illegal immigrants by civil courts, but the latest examples indicate that sharia courts happen to be picking up on the practice.

“It’s not Muslims on the march,” he said. “It’s the tip of the iceberg of the bigger problem.”

No matter who does it, he says, the group considers caning to be “cruel, inhumane and degrading.”

Aiyah… if caning is cruel, may I offer a solution?

There is this method called SPANKING.

It will achieve the same effect for the receiver as a caning would do.

Plus, it would be good exercise for the spanker too. Heck, I also want to be one.

Although spanking is a much, much older form of punishment than caning, I believe this archaic but effective form of punishment will be seen as having more finesse and less cruel to the recipients.

Even your Atok Moyang performed spanking rituals

Even Elvis got his hands dirty..

I guess society as a whole will benefit with this new ruling. Enough with the caning. We need to save rattan trees too. Use bare hands instead. This will save our mother nature and cure arthritis too.

Down With Caning,

Bottoms Up For Spanking!

If you have sinned, you deserve to raise your bum and be spanked

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