I knew this one particular girl back in London. Way back in 1997. Let’s call her My Girl. My Girl was 19 when I first met her. Her elder sister was a friend and her cousin was one of my housemate. She came over while I was playing pool in my hall of residence. Apparently, the only way how to get into that pool hall was through a window. The door was jammed up for repairs. So My Girl had to climb over the window ledge just to meet us guys. She was escorted by her cousin of course.
Everyone shook her hands and eagerly wanted to meet her. But I just stood there beside the pool table waiting and staring at her for a second. I didn’t even say hi. Just a nod of acknowledgement.
This of course led her to believe that I was cocky and arrogant.
My Girl was and very much is – very pretty. She is the sweetest of all things sweet. Like, eating cotton candy on a lazy Sunday afternoon in a cozy little funfair. You can enjoy her company without ever wanting it to end. Everytime she came to my apartment, nearly all guys would cram up my joint just to vie for her attention. I confess I was a tad bit jealous whenever she paid more attention to some of my friends.
I can’t think of a reason why later on she would be interested in me except maybe for the fact that I was quite funny.
Yeah I was My Girl’s little clown.
It was a brief period of romance. I wouldn’t exactly call it romance. Maybe a fling. No, a fling would be degrading. For a lack of a better word, let’s call it a romance nevertheless. Romancing My Girl was never easy. She was shy and I was quite reserved with my feelings. We just let things be. Big mistake. Never let things be. We should have taken action.
That was why the universe took control of our fates and decided that things will not be. But Easter holidays in ’98 was one of the best times I had during college days.
March turned to April, April turned to May. Before you know it, it was June already. The semester ended. So when the time came for us to say our goodbyes, it was like a sense total hopelessness. We parted ways, never to rekindle that once in a lifetime happiness. Although it was brief, it was perfect. Not too overpowering, yet not too subtle either.
It was just nice. I was the luckiest guy in the world.
She is married with two kids now. Two beautiful kids. And praise God I heard the third one is on the way..
Once, in a reckless moment of desire, I had fantasised about her running back to me and we start anew. But that would be too much to ask and knowing the gentle soul that she is, I am sure she will not be selfish.
I was and probably still is, the source of her escapism. I am the rock that when everything is not right in the world, I will be there as comfort. I am there to tell her that somebody is looking out for her. That I will make her believe that all is not lost.
Sigh.
Maybe we shall never be with each other again in this lifetime.
Maybe we are who we are today because of that brief happy moment in our lives.
I have her deep in my heart. In that soft spot where memories of days of sunshine and laughter of those Easter days will rekindle sense of happiness whenever I think about her.
She is forever be, My Girl.
And I love her more than she think I could.
