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Archive for the ‘Naughty thots’ Category

Hell yeah!

3 women got caned for having sex with their boyfriends.

In Malaysia, according to the religion of Islam, that is a HUGE sin.

That is why, most of us here are virgins before we got married.

Don’t believe me? Just ask me whether I am still a virgin or not.

(Yes, I am)

Lying by the way is not punishable by the stroke of the rattan so that is why I can get away with it easily.

Ok, enough digressing.

Anyway the caning of this WILLING women got the whole international community raise their arms in the air and shouted “FOUL!”…

Even CNN picked this news up:

3 Women Caned in Malaysia For Adultery

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (CNN) — For the first time, Malaysian authorities have caned three Muslim women under Islamic law for acts of adultery, the Malaysian national news agency Bernama said.

Home Minister Hishamuddin Hussein announced the canings Wednesday, saying the penalty was carried out February 9 at a women’s prison near Kuala Lumpur.

The canings — a punishment that persists across Malaysian society since the British colonial era of the 19th century — have been denounced by one Amnesty International official, who says “caning is tantamount to torture.”

But Hishamuddin said the punishment was carried out “to educate and make the offenders realize their mistakes and to return to the right path.”

Blah blah blah.. yada yada yada

Lance Lattig, a researcher on Malaysia for the human rights group Amnesty International, told CNN that the vast majority of canings are applied to illegal immigrants by civil courts, but the latest examples indicate that sharia courts happen to be picking up on the practice.

“It’s not Muslims on the march,” he said. “It’s the tip of the iceberg of the bigger problem.”

No matter who does it, he says, the group considers caning to be “cruel, inhumane and degrading.”

Aiyah… if caning is cruel, may I offer a solution?

There is this method called SPANKING.

It will achieve the same effect for the receiver as a caning would do.

Plus, it would be good exercise for the spanker too. Heck, I also want to be one.

Although spanking is a much, much older form of punishment than caning, I believe this archaic but effective form of punishment will be seen as having more finesse and less cruel to the recipients.

Even your Atok Moyang performed spanking rituals

Even Elvis got his hands dirty..

I guess society as a whole will benefit with this new ruling. Enough with the caning. We need to save rattan trees too. Use bare hands instead. This will save our mother nature and cure arthritis too.

Down With Caning,

Bottoms Up For Spanking!

If you have sinned, you deserve to raise your bum and be spanked

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To all the chinese girls that I have dated before, I would like to wish Happy New Year to all of you. I am a changed man now. I no longer succumb to temptations and flirtations by college chicks from HELP Institute.

Why? Because I just bought a female tiger from the SPCA in Ampang the other day. As the year 2010 is the year of the Tiger, I think it is most appropriate to buy this endangered species and give her all the love that she needs.  Just look at her! (pic below). Tak kesian ke? I bathe her and give her food everyday… so that she will have a healthy, fun filled life.

I call her "Baby T"

Who needs a girl when you have a loving pet?

Tata!

P.S.: Bugger off WWF!

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Gee, what a loser…

Disabled man’s personal laundry service porn

SEGAMAT, Tues: A disabled man running a laundry service was found to have a dirty little secret. The 56-year-old, who is receiving monthly assistance from the Welfare Department, has been filming his sexual exploits and selling the recordings.

But his career as a porn star has been cut short by police, who arrested him at his Bandar Putra home on Saturday. They had been watching him for a while after receiving a tip-off. In the 4pm raid police seized a pen drive which contained video recordings of the man having sex with a woman believed to be a 20-something foreigner.

Two women, aged 21 and 26 were also arrested in the raid. They said they were at the house to apply for jobs and had nothing to do with the recordings.

Segamat district police chief Superintendent Abdul Majid Mohd Ali said police believe the recordings on the pen drive were waiting to be downloaded onto video compact discs (VCD) for distribution. – NST

Wait a minute, a 56 year old disabled man from Segamat who is also running on welfare, is having sex with foreign women half his age? Bukan dia yang loser… but I AM!

This son of a pistol is trying to upstage the original Son of A Pistol (me)! I think I need to start selling my sexcapades… any volunteers? Ladies? I am not a handicap by the way. Cukup sifat semuanya huhuhu!

I got my first two volunteers already!

The two women aged 21 and 26 respectively, escaped into the arms of the original S.O.A.P gratefully.

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I think I am not too late to congratulate our new Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Abdul Razak as the proud future father in law of this Son of a Pistol.

I assure you people of Malaysia that I will not be the next Khairy Jamaluddin where I got my mullahs by marrying the prime minister’s daughter.

I am telling you all that my relationship with Puteri Norlisa (picture below) adalah atas dasar suka sama suka, cinta sama cinta dan bukannya atas dasar kes perlanggaran kereta atau disebabkan harta.

Merenung masa depan bersama Son of a Pistol

Merenung masa depan bersama Son of a Pistol

Saya tidak pernah melanggar kereta Puteri Norlisa hanya untuk mendapatkan phone number anak perempuan kesayangan perdana menteri ini.

My only obstacle is that she look exactly like Najib. Only with boobs and longer hair.  Will have heart attack everytime I wake up next to her every morning. But I guess my love for her will endure. I love her God damn it! And love conquers all. Even the thought of having Rosmah as my mother in law will not dampen my mood.

I love my future father in law wife people!

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Now look at Natalie Dormer below…

My favourite English bird

My favourite English bird

Have you ever seen a more lovely set of eyes before? I could lose myself looking into that intoxicating, sensual pair of almond shaped twins. She is easily one of the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. Her acting in The Tudors is not half bad. Plus, her other set of twins is quite lovely too…

Ooh la la!

Ooh la la!

Long live Natalie Dormer (and all her twins)! 

Jangan marah haa… 🙂

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News flash! (pun intended hehe)

Two dozen gay students from Perak (believed to be from the Malay College Kuala Kangsar) are protesting over the change in state government by staging nude protest in the streets of Ipoh yesterday.

Sizing each other up before protesting

Sizing each other up before protesting. Some wished they had brought viagra

Many felt that the previous government have not been forceful enough to claim their rights from the Sultan.

So, they began to strip naked just to show their disgust towards the situation.

Gilrs from nearby college laughed at the puny MCKK gayboys

Girls from nearby college laughed at the puny MCKK gayboys

Many political leaders and parents associations did not approve this protest, citing indecency and undue stress towards young innocent girls.

A girl from Convent Taiping giving a 'malu-malu suka' reaction

A girl from Convent Taiping giving out a 'malu-malu suka' reaction

President of Anti Nudity And Lewdness (ANAL) Association, Dr. Sivarasa Periasamy said that these students were paid to be naked by foreign elements out to destroy the nation’s moral code of good conduct. Their subversive tactics had penetrated into our schooling system. He said,

Ini budak budak suka main telanjang bogel kerana mereka sudah keras itu kepala. Ini kerana anasir anasir luar sudah menusuk mereka dengan membayar wang. Murid murid ini tidak punya maruah diri dan kemaluan!

Nevertheless, the students had support from odd groups of people. Effeminate men of Ipoh began to swarm the streets to watch these students protest. Some of them without restrain yelled, “Anak ikan! Anak ikan!” (little fish, little fish!)

Amboi amboi amboi! Mak tak kuasa nyah...!

Amboi amboi amboi! Mak tak kuasa nyah...!

Thirty minutes later, about 20 students were apprehended by the police while the other four were kidnapped by a group of transvestites from Ipoh Garden. Their current whereabouts is unknown.

The headmaster of MCKK cannot be reached for comments at this moment. We pray for the 4 that are missing.

Click here for more pictures.

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Sori ye, the title above is a bit misleading. Actually, after I posted the ‘A Plea For Elizabeth Wong’ article the other day, I got a lot of hits coming from Malaysiakini dot com. Gila banyak! I think that site have a Google Alert or something. They all ni paranoid sangat pasal Eli Wong sampai kalau ada orang sebut nama dia je, terus they all linkkan that article of mine to their website. Hehe. My blog hits mencanak canak naik!

I feel good.

But you guys tak nak comment apa apa ke?

Actually speaking about mencanak canak, I wanna ask the ladies the question below (please ignore the above title as that one cuma nak dapat hits dari Malaysiakini aje).

Which one of these 4 items below are good for your health?

Health food number 1

Health food number 1 : tofu

Health food number 2 : peeled banana

Health food number 2 : peeled banana

Health food number 3 : banana

Health food number 3 : banana

Health food number 4 : Timun

Health food number 4 : timun!!

Most girls I know are health freaks. So most of them will choose health food number 1 which is the tofu. Not many will eat cucumbers. Mana sedap! Many will choose number 2, the peeled banana. Not many will choose the banana as a whole coz, siapa yang suka makan pisang dengan kulit pisang sekali?

But tofu… eeemmmMMMmmm….! D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S! Ada fried tofu… ada Tau Foo Fah… Ada air tauhu… In Sakae Sushi, my girlfriends would almost always order the Agedashi Tofu which is half fried tofu in soy sauce. Perrgghh… orgasmic! So they said. 

So, bearing this in mind, I read with utter dismay about the ridicule tofu gets in the article below

KUALA LUMPUR: A surprisingly high number of Malaysians are not sexually satisfied, a survey by pharmaceutical company Pfizer has revealed.

Two out of three Malaysian men and three out of four women are not satisfied with their sex lives, the Asia-Pacific Sexual Health and Overall Wellness survey stated. Malaysians are ranked sixth among 13 countries but, if it’s any consolation, Singaporeans fared worse. They are in eighth spot.

The level of erection hardness is measured in a scale of one to four using the Erection Hardness Score (EHS) developed by the European Association of Urology.

Level one is like tofu where the male organ is large but not hard, level two is similar to a peeled banana where it’s not hard enough for penetration, level three is like an unpeeled banana where it’s hard enough for penetration but not completely, and level four is similar to a cucumber where it’s completely hard and fully rigid,” explained Dr Rosie King.

The men were required to evaluate themselves using the EHS during the survey and 40% of Malaysian men reported that they experienced erection below grade four.

Apa ni? Now suddenly, every girl wants to play with the timun. Tadi suka sangat tofu… Not grateful at all lah you girls! 🙂

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