A girlfriend of mine just complained to me about some guy been harrassing her through the phone for several days. Some guys just don’t get it do you? You’d think by calling the girl that you like for dinner/coffee/lunch everyday will work? You’re considered a stalker already. To make matters worse, my friend kept on declining the offer. Guys, a little info; if she declines the first time, don’t ever bother. At the risk of being called mr. know it all or superficial, here are some of the tips or revelations that I’ve found and compiled and find very helpful to all of you clueless guys in getting the girl of your dreams. Perhaps, by reading this, you will never again give a bad name to all of the male species.
Upon first meeting (applicable best in clubbing/partying situation)
1. I can’t tell you how to approach a girl – it’s up to your ingenuity. I would almost always be direct when chatting up a girl (“Hey how are you? May I know your name?” etc etc etc). Then continue to say some funny stuff or whatever interesting. Act normal. Don’t be nervous. She’s just a girl… not the traffic police. I would always hold the view that if the girl herself is not making the effort in making you comfortable during this situation, she’s just not the right woman for you. Have you came across a girl who didn’t even bother to smile or look in your eyes or even didn’t make an effort to look your way when you chatted with her? It’s like talking to a lamp post innit? A snobbish lamp post. It’s a club for god’s sake! If the girl wanna sulk, then, don’t go to teh clubs the first place. Well, forget her, she might be a boring person anyway… If she’s reluctant to give her phone number eventhough you’re very charming and hilarious when speaking to her, just walk away gentlemanly. Don’t ever feel bad about it. She just not interested in you. Her loss, not yours. But give a classy closing eg, Nice talking to you, been a real pleasure etc. Never beg for a phone number. Remember, getting her number is very important in order to gauge her interest/attraction to you. Why bother getting a girl who’s not interested in you? Seems a waste of time and money to me. Go talk to other girls instead.
2. After getting her number, Congrats! You must have fascinate her and she must either be single, open minded, really interested in befriending you or just plain bored and looking for a sugardaddy :). Don’t get your hopes high yet. My advice is to just be cool and not look desperate. Many guys made mistake of being overly excited and thinking about marrying/bedding the girl just upon getting her number. Alas, the classic case of psychotic stalkers and creepy callers. What you should do is, after getting the number, retreat tactfully immediately. Act as if she’s non consequential. Better yet, go talk to other girls/friends and share a laughter. That girl of your dreams will see you as an interesting guy with friends when she checks on you again. Not some loser who hovers near her all the time with no one else to talk to.
3. Don’t call or sms her within the first 4 days of the initial meeting! Why? I will clarify this later. Some guys made the mistake of calling/sms her right after the party. What a loser! Don’t you have anything better to do than looking this desperate? Newsflash : Girls do no like desperados. You keep this up, you will end up masturbating over the weekends. Remember : Desperation will lead to masturbation
4. Okay, the reason why you should refrain yourself from calling her is because to make yourself different from the rest of the losers out there. Imagine if she gives away her number to 9 other guys that same night you got her number. Depending on her ‘hotness’, 3 guys will sms her right after the party saying lame stuff such as ‘nice meeting you’ or ‘thanks for the number’ or ‘keep in touch’. 1 guy will actually call her and say the same thing. The other 3 will call/sms her the next day while the other 1 will call her the day after. The last guy will not call her at all due to hesitation or plain lazy. Now, the girl will of course make her own screening process to all of these guys. The first 4 guys above will automatically be pooled under the desperate category and will only be kept as acquaintances. The next 4 guys will be pooled under potential/maybe dates category. She will definitely be thinking what happened to you and that other wuss who didnt call at all. The more she thinks about you, the more intriguing you will be and the more interested she will be on you should you call a couple of days later. Remember guys, in order to increase the girl’s interest level, she must think about you in some ways or another.
5. After the 4th day, you call her. She will act mildly surprised to hear your voice. Keep the conversation short. Don’t talk nonsense over the phone. Talk for only about 3 to 5 minutes. By the end of this phonecall, you should have set a date with her. This is another screening process for you. Why bother getting a date with a girl who are not interested in you? But beware, some girls are genuinely not interested in you but really can’t turn down the offer of a free meal. If she declined, just say, nice talking to you. That’s all. Again, don’t beg. If the girl does really like you, she will give you an alternate day and time for the date. If not, furghedaboudit! Spend your energy and resources elsewhere. I know for a fact that if a girl really likes a guy, she would never break a date, will show up for a date no matter what and will never decline a meeting with you. This is a good indicator to weed out man-users, materialistic women or women who are just taking you for a ride.
Extra tip : Have you ever get anxious or frustrated because that hot girl didn’t reply your sms? And then, you made the mistake of texting her again and again asking her if she’s alrite and why didn’t she reply your sms? Don’t do that!! If she’s hot, she might be getting about 20 text messages per day by other guys like you. Replying back to all of these messages is a cost to her. Moreover, why bother replying to guys she doesn’t even interested in? Waste of money and time to her right? Ditto to you mister! Important – If you’re not even her friend yet, don’t sms her again and again as if you’re entitled for a reply. Ok stalkers? U get me? Don’t drop our gender’s waterface
Will write further on what you should do next